PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Randomize
