even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
