Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
