oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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