he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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