the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize