I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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