Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
