It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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