guys are not supposed to queef...right?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize