That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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