Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
