I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
