i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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