is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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