Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
