I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
