So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
