I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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