Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
i need some magic done to my vagina
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
