The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize