I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize