Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
