P.S. I can't hear my feet
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
