dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
