Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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