The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
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