I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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