Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
