you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize