its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
