can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
