I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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