Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
