About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
