That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
There's a naked man in my car right now.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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