Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My dick has a subreddit
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize