btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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