the day after is always just damage control
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
