Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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