i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he was CRYING into my vagina
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
