So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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