You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
