Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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