New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
