i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
