i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
