How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize