I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
