Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
operation harelip BJ is a go
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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