i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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