I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
