woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
