can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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