I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
