Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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