I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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