somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
