she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
