i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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