We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
