i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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