Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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