is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
