Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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