I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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