Can i not drive my cunt home
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
