Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize